


Of Heroes

by aureations



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Family, Gen, Growing Up, Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 21:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aureations/pseuds/aureations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>More than anything Sasha remembers, it is the tales the old women would tell around the bonfire, tales of courage, of bravery and of heroes that came to save the day. They told her of her people, of herself and who she was. They told her of the world.<br/> </p><p>A Case Study in Sasha Blouse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> Originally for the Shingeki Kink Meme: _Sasha: Family fluff, the first time she used a bow and arrow, and her first catch solo_ but it spiraled out of control.

Sasha was born as the chill of the north finally crept into Dauper, dusting the treetops with snow. Her mother, weak from the childbirth and the cold, smiled down at her naming her Sasha from the old tongues - the defender and helper of mankind. It was a cruel world that she would be born into, her mother knew, but more than that she knew that this little girl shall one day have the ability to save others and to fight for humanity - and for their clan.

The clan raises her. 

More than anything Sasha remembers, it is the tales the old women would tell around the bonfire, tales of courage, of bravery and of heroes that came to save the day. They told her of her people, of herself and who she was. They told her of the world.

She was four when she first laid her hands on her father's bow. She had seen her father use it countless times but was never allowed to do so herself. _Hold your horses_ her father would say to her, laughingly _it ain't time for you to use those yet_. Sasha, in all her indignant childish rage, waited until her father sits down at his place by the bonfire to creep closer to his bow. She has seen it in use many times before but she is still not ready for the weight of it in her small hands and it scares her. The bow clatters to the floor.

She is older and the bow scares her still, the weight of it in her hands and the sharpness of the arrowheads. Her father's lessons in archery often leave her knees weak, her whole body trembling from the effort. She learns though. She learns because it is the way of her clan and if nothing else, Sasha understands this. Soon the feel of the bow becomes familiar in her hands, carving grooves that were never there before.

She is a true child of the forest, quick and nimble and nigh impossible to catch, disappearing more often than not, into the foliage that surrounds them, into the mist that envelopes their village, staring up at the majestic trees and learning the call of each animal, each plant. She learns the call of the world around her that is her home. 

The old women in the camp would laugh and shake their heads at the sight of her, darting into the forest with her bow and arrow as friends. _Ullr_ they call her _of the bow_. 

She forgets though, forgets that the bow and arrow does not make her impregnable to danger. She is on a hunting expedition with the rest of the camp when she spots a deer out of the corner of her eye. On impulse, she chases. The adrenaline sears through her and there is the sound of her blood pounding in her ears. Her whole world narrows down to the fleeing animal in front of her and the feel of her bow steady and familiar in her hand. She doesn't notice her father calling for her to come back. She doesn't notice when she's in a part of the forest dense and unfamiliar to her. The deer dashes into the overgrowth and Sasha loses sight of it. This part of the forest is silent, even to her sensitive ears. Even the din of the clan evade her. 

From behind her, something growls. 

She turns, slowly, to face a bear looming above her. It's almost three metres tall, rearing up on its hind feet, it's teeth bared in a snarl. She's rooted to the spot, her whole body frozen. Something inside of her snaps to attention as the bear opens it's fangs and roars. Sasha screams. 

It is her father that finds her. He wounds the bear and grabs her, still paralysed and panicked, making his way through the forest with her thrown over his shoulder. It is later in the safety of the camp that he tells her off for being too impulsive, too childish. It's nothing new that he lectures her on. What is new, though, is the intensity of her fear. It stays with her for the rest of her life.

Five years ago, though, her world was changed forever. Wall Maria fell.

The land that have been always theirs was no longer theirs alone. People moved in from everywhere, soon villages that weren't there before set up not so far from their camp. Sasha crept out of the forest once, to see the towns for herself, living so different from what she was used to, to what her ancestors were used to. The houses look so foreign to her, so unlike the homely cottage she was used to, where the others in the camp would call out to her, where the bonfire crackled but kept her warm at night. The sounds of the town frightened her. To her sensitive ears, the city accent sounded harsh and unforgiving and the screech of carts and merchants made her clamp her hands over her ears. She didn't visit again.

This wasn't the only problem they had though. The resources of the land could only stretch so far and with the influx of people, there was only so much food to go around. Her mother, already frail, got progressively worse that winter. Sasha's birthday this year was spent by her mother's bed side, clutching her mother's hand in hers. She refused to believe her mother was getting worse because how _how_ would she be able to live without her?

Food was scarce but what little her mother had was passed on to her. _Eat, child_ she would whisper, her voice paper-thin _Eat, my dear Sasha, and grow big and strong. And fight to live on_. One particularly cold night, her mother closed her eyes and didn't open them again. 

Sasha starts stealing food.

Her father notices and tries to stop her, tries to explain to her but in the end, Sasha is still a child, frightened of this new world - a world cold and cruel but something in her rebels when she hears her father's words. She hears _coward_ and the small indignant child within her protests. She runs away in the night, her hair whipping past her and she wills her horse to run faster and faster. She is fearful of what she will find in the outside world but the word _coward_ echoes in her head and she pushes forward. 

She arrives in the city and struggles her way through into the military. She is conscious here of her differences like she was all these years ago and she never quite sounds like the others do. She finds a strange comfort in being a trainee though. Even if the training was grueling and hard, she never has to deal with her mother's voice in her head, weak but worried pleading for her to _Eat and live_. 

The best parts of training are when they're allowed in the forests. She darts through the trees, a new flexibility granted to her by her gear, flinging herself through this almost familiar ground. Sasha throws herself into this training, ignoring the pangs of homesickness that echoes within her whilst she's amongst the trees. She graduates in the top 10 of the trainees.

She wasn't ready to face the carnage that awaited. None of them were.

They end up stranded on the roof of the town with the smells of blood and titan vomit surrounding them and she sees the despair etched across their faces. _Fight_ her mother told her _fight to live on_. Her legs are trembling and it's getting harder for her to breathe but when Mikasa stands up and tells them to fight, she fights. The word _coward_ echoes in her mind yet again and she knows that she has a long way to go before shaking it but this - this is a start.

\--

 _Is this the end?_ Her hands shake and she wills her legs to not give out on her now as she faces a three meter class, completely unarmed. She sees the little girl, hunched over, the look on her face familiar to Sasha and she knows that this time she has to do something. It's just a three meter, she's faced even bigger titans before but this one - this one she sees and in her minds' eye and the bear she face years and years ago rears before her like it did before. This time though, she has no time to wait to be rescued. No, this time she has to do the rescuing herself. 

Relief fills her when she clasps the bow in her hand, the familiar weight of it reassuring her. There is nothing except for her, the titan before her and the bow in her hand and she only has four shots to _make it count_. She's still sweating bullets and her hearts pounding in her ears but she knows what she has to do, she knows she'll never live it down if she yielded in front of a titan again, so she pushes the little girl forward and stands her ground. She's so scared that her arms tremble still but she loads the first arrow and shoots. She misses. The second arrow flies past its head, barely grazing it. _Ullr_ she hears the old women in her village whisper in her ear as she loads another one, _Ullr, of the bow_. She steadies her hand and releases. 

She has one arrow left. In her mind, the image of the bear refuses to leave her, it roars and bears its teeth still. Her heart in her throat, beating erratically but the little girl is still running behind her and Sasha - Sasha lives up to her namesake, to _defender_ of mankind. She throws her bow away. 

The adrenaline pumps through her and she running away before she even realizes and she nearly misses the sound of voices and horses in the forest beside her. She sees her father and their last encounter flashes shamefully through her mind, _coward_ it echoes within her mind and she knows, _she knows_ that she is a coward still but she also knows now that courage isn't to fight without fear but to fight despite it so she swallows the lump in her throat and looks up at her old man as she asks her if she was the one that faced the titan.

 _You've become a splendid person_ he says and his accent and his words wash over her and she feels herself being born anew, as if she had finally, _finally_ stepped out of the ashes of the child she once was into the woman she is today. _I'm home_ she whispers amongst the soft, comforting murmurs of her clan and the breeze that filters through her forest 

Next time, it will be her own tales they will tell around the bonfire, tales of courage, of bravery and of heroes that come to save the day.

**Author's Note:**

> Sasha is said to resemble Aesir Ullr from Norse mythology known for tremendous speed and skills with bow and arrow. The name Sasha also means defender/helper of mankind
> 
> Ahhh this is the first fic I've written in so long, I hope it's okay~ Thank you for reading!


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